FYI- I am not a english major, almost never got great remarks on my English papers, I do not use commas, periods, or quotes accordingly. I did reread this and try my best to correct any errors. I know there are more. Please do not judge me on them. If something is really off please comment below or email me, maybe I missed it. :)
One Sunday while we were at church, I thought about some dreams I had been having. Both very similar, but just about me having Aiden in our home, quickly, and without any issues. Early on in the pregnancy I just thought this was a normal dream and thought nothing of it. But as I continued to have it pretty regularly I began to wonder if there was more to it and if possibly God was trying to tell me something. That morning in church while worshiping (Don't remember the song, but remember it had to do with trust and love) I had those same visions from my dream come to mind, and this over whelming feeling in my heart and soul that these were not just any ol' dream. I heard these words 'Elizabeth, you can have the birth you want and have prayed for. I have made you in a way that this is possible. I have blessed you with this pregnancy and you can have a pain free birth, without issues and no complications. As you worship me in church, worship me and talk to me during your labor. I will guide you through each step. I love you and I know you can do this.' I cried as I stood there in service, feeling loved and a conformation for what I wanted. I still needed to look into how we were planning to do this, we couldn't afford to pay for a midwife out of pocket, insurance wasn't paying for it, and the new birthing center that just opened had not had all there insurance coverage taken care of yet, and our insurance said it could take 6-9 months till the paper work was all done. I continued to pray and ask what we were to do. I still had no desire to go to the hospital, and even if I did it all myself, (no dr. around) I new there was some hospital policies I didn't want. In March I continued to have these visions of my birth and God telling me I could do it, I was safe and so was Aiden. While trying to dicuss all this with Weston one Sunday, about all the things I had going through my mind, all he had on his mind was finances and how we just could afford a midwife. He couldn't imagine doing all alone. I was so frustrated by him only seeing it one way. My way of coping is listening to music doing some sort of house work and not talking to him, that way he knows I am upset at him. After about only a half hour he came out to the yard where I was pulling weeds and he listened to my thoughts with a more open mind. I told him I wanted to do this all by ourselves, I knew we didn't have the money and I wasn't asking him do go into debt to birth this baby. We talked about what doing it alone really meant and what we would have to do and know to do this properly. He agreed that he was on board and we could try doing an unassisted home birth. Over the next few weeks, I really saw that Weston was not completely on board and was pretty nervous about the whole thing. He was worried about the 'what ifs' and all the things he could not handle. So I started learning about all the 'what ifs' so that he wouldn't need to be worried. I learned about shoulder dystocia, neonatal CPR, postpartum hemorrhage, checking to make sure the placenta is whole and intact, what is an appropriate amount of blood to loose after birth, what to look for when the amniotic fluid comes out, how to clamp the chord, and what if that chord is tied around neck. I refreshed my memory about birthing positions and ways to help with pain. I had a stack of bible verses and quotes I printed up and had next to my bed for times of doubt. I felt so confidant in my choice and my ability that I had no worries, but I had to get my wonderful husband on the same page. After learning about all these things and sharing them with him I started to see him become more comfortable. I asked him to watch non scary home birth videos on YouTube so he could be refreshed with birth again. I prayed daily that God would put on his heart the same feeling and knowledge He had given me. That if that this was truly the way and the path God had set for us that we would continue to know what to do, and if was not, and I was putting my desires ahead of God's that I would be convicted about my choice and together we would know what to do. After I had heard that he had told his co workers that we were having a home birth, I knew he was on board fully and I didn't have to worry about him feeling timid at the birth. God had worked out everything along the way, each step was protected by his mighty hands. In May I ordered my home birthing kit and continued to clean house put our bedroom in order with all the things I wanted to have at hand. I had not seen a Dr or OB since February because of our insurance issues, so in mid May I went to see my regular Dr. just to confirm that all was good and I was ready for the birth and in tip top shape. I did not inform her that I had planned on doing a home birth because I knew she would have to tell me that she advised against it, all Dr. do. I was all good to go. The next weekend we went camping at 38 weeks pregnant. That following weekend Weston had a business trip out of state, so I asked my parents to come early incase I needed them. Weston and I agreed that if I went into labor while we was gone best course of action would be to go to the hospital and we would be there as soon as he could. I was really hoping and praying Adien would come greet us June 3rd, one week before his due date. But that day came and went. My parents where here and enjoying their time with their grandkids, but I was getting anxious and wondering what this next week would bring. Both of our other kids where one week later then their estimated due date, I really didn't want to wait till June 16th to have him, I didn't want to be late again. We were pretty occupied and stayed busy so the time went fast. Saturday June 7th I started having contractions, but they were about 30 min apart and I wasn't sure if they were going to get any closer. I rubbed Clary sage over my lower belly almost every hour to try and make things progress. By 7 that night they had moved to 15 min apart, I continued to pray that things would speed up that night and I would shortly go into labor. No luck, I woke up Sunday morning feeling refreshed but slightly disappointed. I still would have contractions, but very far apart. I would remind myself of a quote I read in a book 'the more false labor you have, the quicker real labor will go' So I tried to stay focused on that, my body was getting ready, and soon my baby would be out. Mind you the people who I would encounter, reminding me that I could still go another two to three weeks were really not helping me. I was feeling full of energy and didn't want to sit still, so after church I convinced my family to go on a hike. My mother looked at me like I was crazy, 'You wanna have this baby on the mountain do you?' she said to me while we were going up. It was a fun and beautiful afternoon but nothing came of it immediately. I remember my husband and I going out for a walk that evening with the dog and him commenting on how he wished Aiden would come soon too, other wise if I pass my due date I am going to get super cranky. Great, feeling the love now. Part 3 click here.