Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The year is almost over!!

I am having a hard time believing that the year is almost gone and a new one is about to start. It really doesn't feel that long that ago that we were in our friends living room watching football and drinking. Sometimes I think this year has gone by quickly and other times it feels as it has dragged on slower then molasses. Really so many things have happened this year I don't even remember them all.

We started this year off thinking about Weston's up coming deployment and how we would prepare for this life changing event. Sadly I think this year marks the highest known deaths of people I know. That has been a real thinker for me. We put Glenn in school this last fall for three days a week and has done very well. It is very exciting to see your child grow and learn, all while making connections of their own. I celebrated my 25th birthday and I tried to go all out, I still had a blast. Themed parties are the way to go! My children have changed so much. Glenn understands so much more now and learns something new everyday. He knows his ABC's and we are working on his numbers. Erica has gone from my baby girl to my little girl. She has more hair and talking so much more. Every month she has changed, it just amazes me to look back at her physical and mental changes.

I remember in August thinking how long our first year here in Augusta had taken. We had much less going on here during our first year then we had in Italy or our first year in marriage. I felt miserable, my Husband was leaving and I felt that I had nothing to look forward to other then him coming home, which was an awful 10 months away!

In November I was able to get away and attend the International PWOC women's conference in Texas. it was such a powerful and amazing weekend with God. I was reminded that I am never alone, and if I need a friend, I need to let my wall down and call someone. I am praying more and let go of the guilt and frustrations of not always having my quite time. I know it is important but I know God is my friend not a dictator.

Yesterday was four months since Weston left. I am so thankful that time is going fast. But i miss him so much. The love of my life is so far away and all I want is his a hug.

Another thing that I miss is Italy. The culture there was so different, that at times it was hard. Yet all I want is to back, I miss the closeness of the relationships we had there and never feeling alone. I miss the food, the travel and my life. Even though the US is "Home" is was hard coming back here. there is less to do here. I don't know really how to describe it, but if you are military then I think you will understand, if you have ever been overseas. Here most people are out to serve themselves and in Europe I got a very different feeling. I thought coming to the South I would see that "Southern Hospitality", well I have yet to see or experience that, I know it must have so much to do with that I live in a town that is a melting pot, that being that Augusta has really grown around the military base.

Well two days till we walk into a new year and can start anew. what will you do? do you have any special dreams for the upcoming year? Sad to say, but seeing this year come to a end really kinda makes me sad. Like watching a sad movie. :(

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Two months?!

Has it really only been two months. Well some times you could say it has gone by fast but other times it feels like this long trek is going to take forever. and now that the party's are over and I really don't have anymore planning to do, i don't see this going much faster. I feel so far from him and now that he is getting busy I don't really feel us connecting like I would want to. maybe this is a personal problem or maybe this is a we problem. I don't know right now but i need to figure out a way to bond over a long distance. I was thinking 20 Questions or the newly wed game. any ideas? But if I feel like this now I worry about how I would feel seven months from now. which is just way to long to wait for a hug from the man you love.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

My emotional day

Sometimes I think it is good to listen to a sad song and just all the emotions flow out. it feels good afterward.

: Death, his press from the news paper.

Friday, September 17, 2010


How do you deal with death? My mind runs wild when I think about the phone call I got this week about a friend who's husband deployed with mine. He died Thursday morning, of noncombat related issues, but not the less torture. For about an hour after hearing the news I couldn't do anything but walk in circles, my mind just wasn't working. I still can't imagine the emotion that would hit me after hearing that kind of news. This picture to the left is of his little girl on the day of his departure to Iraq. they are a wonderful family with lots of love. Please if anyone reads this, pray for this family and the soldiers who new him.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

One of the most heart tugging days ever. My emotions were all over the place, I was ok until I hug him, then it was like letting open the flood gates. I just kept thinking "how is this going to affect the kids". I can gladly say that it has not been as bad as I thought.
Both kids love to see their dad on the computer wether it be on SKYPE or and old video recording. it is a happy day in our house when we get to talk to dad.

Expressing my feelings

Realizing how mush it helps to vent how I feel, I am hopping this will help. it is much better the relieving stress at the gym and feeling like I am going to cry every time I get on the treadmill.
I was thinking this morning about how from the outside I may look normal and look at peace, but there are time when that is just all good makeup. I feel lately that yes most of the time I am good and way better off then some others, but I still think that this is getting harder and my feelings are getting harder to deal with. it has only been two weeks and I already need a hug, I want so badly to smell him right next to me.
this last year may have gone by quick but I don't feel that it was very eventful, I hope I can change that about this coming year.
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