Monday, April 30, 2012
So I asked my husband a question yesterday, I expected a 'yes' even if it was a said grudgingly just to satisfy my want. When he said no, I was more then a little surprised. He said 'I love you though!' in which I responded 'Well if you really loved me you would join me!' How typical of a response is that?! I started "The art of marriage" a video bible study. I didn't really intend on doing it myself, I had really hopped my husband would join me. I am already doing a woman's bible study on marriage by myself... Why won't he do this with me? I know in his eyes he doesn't see any need for doing any of this, it is like that old saying, 'if it isn't broke, don't fix it.' That is so him. it is kinda starting to drive me a little bonkers. I have always been that one to read books or do studies to help benefit our marriage. I have the total opposite view, why wait when you can learn and perfect something now instead of waiting till it gets bad. But I am starting to get irritated that it is one sided. Sure he will learn to do new things for our sex life, and yes that is beneficial, but that is not one sided. I am really starting to feel that my desire and relationship with God is stronger, and I think looking at that and my life, is why I drift back, because I don't want to be the stronger one in our marriage. I desire him to be, another reason why I have to look to God more, he will fill that hole. So many things running through my mind.