Monday,
June 9th came around, my due date I woke up slightly
disappointed that no baby had come yet. Nothing that I was doing was
speeding up the process of having this child. Weston was sent home
early from work because they new it was my due date and I had been
having contractions, man did I feel pressure to preform now! I went
on with my day just trying my best to get the house clean and do all
I could to have everything ready. Weston and I went for a
two mile walk that afternoon. I took a nap after we got home, I woke
to having some contractions, but they were no biggy. As day got later
they got stronger. Went to bed late and managed to sleep till 1 when
I woke up to some very real contractions. Did my best to relax
between them, they were not super strong, just
enough to take my breath away a bit, but I new this was real and
Aiden would be arriving soon. I turned on my music and put in my head
phones and tried to rest, and see if I could sleep between
contractions. No such luck, I got antsy and decided to get up and
shower and enjoy the nice warm water. When I got out I decided to
wake Weston and inform him that things had started. My contractions
where still about 7 to 10 min apart, but I was really hoping and
praying that things would speed up and become more intense. It must
have been about 2:30am when I went to go wake my mom, after that I
went and made myself breakfast. I was so hungry but nothing sounded
good, it sucked. I made myself some oatmeal, and while eating it in
the kitchen my contractions came down to about 5 min apart. I tried
sitting on my yoga ball but it seemed to only make the contractions
more intense and they felt longer. So I went and laid down on my bed,
my mom and I talked off and on between contractions, but laying down
must have slowed them down, cause I managed to take little naps
between a couple 15 min gaps. At about 4am my mom decided to go back
to bed, I fell back to sleep for 24 min, when I was woken back up by
another contraction, then back to sleep again for 36 min. About this
time I don't remember looking at the clock much, I think it was about
7ish when I woke again, still only having contractions about 10-15
minutes apart. I stayed in my room, just listening to music and
pacing the floor. The contractions had gotten stronger at this point
but were still not too close. Weston mentioned going for a walk, but
I was so tired and sore it was really the last thing I wanted to do.
I continued to rub Essential oils on to help with pain and help with
contractions. I kinda remember about 9:30am mentioning that I could
not stand this anymore and just wanted this to be started so I could
get it over with. I told weston to get his shoes on cause we we're
going for a walk to try and get this moving. The circle that makes up
our neighborhood reminds me of a high school track. We started our
walk out slow only stoping twice the first lap for some intense
contractions, by the end of the second lap I thought things were
going good, but we came in the house and pretty much walked back out
to go again. I told weston they weren't strong enough and had to keep
going. So we started our lap going a different way and then came and
took our normal loop. When we reached our street, I had to stop for a
super strong contraction, I was so excited, I knew things had started
to pick up now. About 50 feet later I had another and it was strong,
I made it to our driveway and had another one. It was time to go
inside and see where these went. I was having contractions every 2-5
minutes now. I positioned my self over my yoga ball that was on my
bed and did my labor sway. While my brain was still working I would
have Weston come and massage my lower back and hip area. I decided
after not to long that getting in a warm shower sounded good. I got
in, but every time would have a contraction it got tough to stand,
and kneeling on our shower got painful for my knees. So I asked
Weston to fill up the tub in the kids bathroom. (Sadly we have no
tub) I transferred my wet body to the other bathroom between a
contraction. I got in and was enjoying the nice warm water when
another contraction started. That tub is so small and shallow I had
to be in on my back, so when the contraction started I was in so much
pain. Weston tried to pull me up so I could change positions, but it
got very difficult to move, that was the only time I started to cry
during my labor. That contraction felt like it lasted for ever. It
finally ended and I got out. I told weston I was getting hungry, he
asked what I wanted and I told him I was craving Mexican. Somehow
during this conversation my mom volunteered to go out and get
Mexican. Wonderfully we live in NM so it is pretty authentic. :) She
and my Dad took the kids out to go get food. I got back to my room
and got on all fours on my yoga mat I set up next to my bed. I went
back and forth from leaning on my arms to the yoga ball. Breathing
deeply during contraction I tried to remember to ask for Weston to
help during my lower back pain, but as labor progressed I forgot to
voice my thoughts. All of a sudden I got very hot and started to
sweat, then I got really nauseous, I got a bowl that I had just
incase that were to happen, since I had not eaten yet it was just
fluids. I told Weston it had started, I was ready to push and he
needed to get ready. During these contractions I really started to
get vocal, groaning and moaning. Weston said he could see his head, I
pushed and my water broke. That part they call the ring of fire,
where the cervix is around the babies head between pushes, I remember
this being the most painful part, it wasn't a burning feeling, just
painful. This was the only time I screamed really loud and cursed,
saying something to the tone of, 'Why did we do this? I must be
crazy.' I pushed again and his whole head was out. A lot more fluid
came out after this. I asked about the cord, Weston said it looked
fine, but then upon closer examination he felt it around Aiden's
neck. I asked if he remembered what do? I talked him through it and
then all was good. I pushed again getting one shoulder out, Weston
told me one more push, you can do it. I looked back with a small
glair saying, I had to wait and wasn't ready for another push. I
pushed again and got the other shoulder out. At that point I thought
he would have just kind of slipped out, like my other two did. But
with another scream and push I got him all the way out. Weston caught
him as I was concentrating to hard on pushing. He came out a little
blueish and had not taken a breath yet, so I had Weston turn him over
and rub his back. He started breathing and thats when I turned around
and leaned against the yoga ball and put Aiden on my chest. I had
Weston go get my Mom from the living room and she helped me get up to
my bed. It was over! My hips felt better, my back wasn't it pain
anymore, it was incredible!! Aiden just laid on my chest as I rubbed
his back, about 5 minutes later I got him to latch on to nurse and
that also helped with contracting the uterus and get the placenta
out. I had another contraction and it was pretty painful, I kinda
ignored it as I was so happy to have Aiden in my arms, the next
contraction I remembered I needed to push to get the placenta out. So
I pushed the placenta out, my uterus had already started clotting so
I had some very large blood clots come out as well. Weston grabbed
all that and put it in a bowl I had sitting around ready for it. At
that point I was done, happy and oh so hungry! My wonderful mom and
husband cleaned me all up and cleaned up the room too. About an hour
after birth we clamped and cut the cord. At that time I was able to
move more freely with Aiden in my arms. I continued to feed Aiden
and then ate my taco's my parents brought home for me. Aiden was
weighed at 7 pounds 12 ounces and 19 ¼ inches long. Months ago when
I brought my birth and labor plan to my then OB she looked at it and
said 'I think of these more like a guide line, they seem to jinxs
everything, nothing ever goes they way you plan.' I couldn't be more
happy about how things turned out for my husband and I during our
unassisted home birth. I was confidant, educated, prepared and
excited about the experience.
Life, Venting, Thoughts, and Just being ME! Through the Life of a Military Spouse. The Goodwin Family.
Friday, January 2, 2015
Aiden's Birth story part 2. The middle :)
FYI- I am not a english major, almost never got great remarks on my English papers, I do not use commas, periods, or quotes accordingly. I did reread this and try my best to correct any errors. I know there are more. Please do not judge me on them. If something is really off please comment below or email me, maybe I missed it. :)
One
Sunday while we were at church, I thought about some dreams I had
been having. Both very similar, but just about me having Aiden in our
home, quickly, and without any issues. Early on in the pregnancy I
just thought this was a normal dream and thought nothing of it. But
as I continued to have it pretty regularly I began to wonder if there
was more to it and if possibly God was trying to tell me something.
That morning in church while worshiping (Don't remember the song, but
remember it had to do with trust and love) I had those same visions
from my dream come to mind, and this over whelming feeling in my
heart and soul that these were not just any ol' dream. I heard these
words 'Elizabeth, you can have the birth you want and have prayed
for. I have made you in a way that this is possible. I have blessed
you with this pregnancy and you can have a pain free birth, without
issues and no complications. As you worship me in church, worship me
and talk to me during your labor. I will guide you through each step.
I love you and I know you can do this.' I cried as I stood there in
service, feeling loved and a conformation for what I wanted. I still
needed to look into how we were planning to do this, we couldn't
afford to pay for a midwife out of pocket, insurance wasn't paying
for it, and the new birthing center that just opened had not had all
there insurance coverage taken care of yet, and our insurance said it
could take 6-9 months till the paper work was all done. I continued
to pray and ask what we were to do. I still had no desire to go to
the hospital, and even if I did it all myself, (no dr. around) I new
there was some hospital policies I didn't want. In March I continued
to have these visions of my birth and God telling me I could do it, I
was safe and so was Aiden. While trying to dicuss all this with
Weston one Sunday, about all the things I had going through my mind,
all he had on his mind was finances and how we just could afford a
midwife. He couldn't imagine doing all alone. I was so frustrated by
him only seeing it one way. My way of coping is listening to music
doing some sort of house work and not talking to him, that way he
knows I am upset at him. After about only a half hour he came out to
the yard where I was pulling weeds and he listened to my thoughts
with a more open mind. I told him I wanted to do this all by
ourselves, I knew we didn't have the money and I wasn't asking him do
go into debt to birth this baby. We talked about what doing it alone
really meant and what we would have to do and know to do this
properly. He agreed that he was on board and we could try doing an
unassisted home birth. Over the next few weeks, I really saw that
Weston was not completely on board and was pretty nervous about the
whole thing. He was worried about the 'what ifs' and all the things
he could not handle. So I started learning about all the 'what ifs'
so that he wouldn't need to be worried. I learned about shoulder
dystocia, neonatal CPR, postpartum hemorrhage, checking to make sure
the placenta is whole and intact, what is an appropriate amount of
blood to loose after birth, what to look for when the amniotic fluid
comes out, how to clamp the chord, and what if that chord is tied
around neck. I refreshed my memory about birthing positions and ways
to help with pain. I had a stack of bible verses and quotes I printed
up and had next to my bed for times of doubt. I felt so confidant in
my choice and my ability that I had no worries, but I had to get my
wonderful husband on the same page. After learning about all these
things and sharing them with him I started to see him become more
comfortable. I asked him to watch non scary home birth videos on
YouTube so he could be refreshed with birth again. I prayed daily
that God would put on his heart the same feeling and knowledge He
had given me. That if that this was truly the way and the path God
had set for us that we would continue to know what to do, and if was
not, and I was putting my desires ahead of God's that I would be
convicted about my choice and together we would know what to do.
After I had heard that he had told his co workers that we were having
a home birth, I knew he was on board fully and I didn't have to worry
about him feeling timid at the birth. God had worked out everything
along the way, each step was protected by his mighty hands. In May I
ordered my home birthing kit and continued to clean house put our
bedroom in order with all the things I wanted to have at hand. I had
not seen a Dr or OB since February because of our insurance issues,
so in mid May I went to see my regular Dr. just to confirm that all
was good and I was ready for the birth and in tip top shape. I did
not inform her that I had planned on doing a home birth because I
knew she would have to tell me that she advised against it, all Dr.
do. I was all good to go. The next weekend we went camping at 38
weeks pregnant. That following weekend Weston had a business trip out
of state, so I asked my parents to come early incase I needed them.
Weston and I agreed that if I went into labor while we was gone best
course of action would be to go to the hospital and we would be there
as soon as he could. I was really hoping and praying Adien would come
greet us June 3rd, one week before his due date. But that
day came and went. My parents where here and enjoying their time with
their grandkids, but I was getting anxious and wondering what this
next week would bring. Both of our other kids where one week later
then their estimated due date, I really didn't want to wait till June
16th to have him, I didn't want to be late again. We were
pretty occupied and stayed busy so the time went fast. Saturday June
7th I started having contractions, but they were about 30
min apart and I wasn't sure if they were going to get any closer. I
rubbed Clary sage over my lower belly almost every hour to try and
make things progress. By 7 that night they had moved to 15 min apart,
I continued to pray that things would speed up that night and I would
shortly go into labor. No luck, I woke up Sunday morning feeling
refreshed but slightly disappointed. I still would have contractions,
but very far apart. I would remind myself of a quote I read in a book
'the more false labor you have, the quicker real labor will go' So I
tried to stay focused on that, my body was getting ready, and soon my
baby would be out. Mind you the people who I would encounter,
reminding me that I could still go another two to three weeks were
really not helping me. I was feeling full of energy and didn't want
to sit still, so after church I convinced my family to go on a hike.
My mother looked at me like I was crazy, 'You wanna have this baby on
the mountain do you?' she said to me while we were going up. It was a
fun and beautiful afternoon but nothing came of it immediately. I
remember my husband and I going out for a walk that evening with the
dog and him commenting on how he wished Aiden would come soon too,
other wise if I pass my due date I am going to get super cranky.
Great, feeling the love now. Part 3 click here.
Aiden's Birth Story. Part 1. The long road.
FYI- I am not a english major, almost never got great remarks on my English papers, I do not use commas, periods, or quotes accordingly. I did reread this and try my best to correct any errors. I know there are more. Please do not judge me on them. If something is really off please comment below or email me, maybe I missed it. :)
Family pictures just before we found out. |
For
me, my birth story started almost three years ago. When my husband
was deployed during 2010-2011 we had talked about trying to expand
our little family when he returned home. His 2 week R&R just
happened to be prefect timing to try to get pregnant. We had a
wonderful vacation and time together as a family. I got pregnant! But
shortly after he left to go back, I had a miscarriage. I was heart
broken. I was so sad, I felt as if I had lost a great love, a child I
had been loving for months, not days. I was so surprised about how
deeply broken I was feeling. It wasn't to much longer till my husband
came home for good, we talked about what had happened and decided
that since he had been gone for a year maybe we should just spend
some time together as a family the way it was. Almost another year
went by, spring of 2012 we were moving from the East coast to the
South west. I had a busy summer, of flying home, getting our new home
put together, and then driving back to TN to be with my best friend
while she had her new baby girl. When the kids and I returned I told
my husband that I still had a desire to have more kids and wanted to
try again for a baby. So that August we began to try a conceive
again. I thought for sure it wouldn’t take us long, as it never
took long in the past. Between August and June of 2013 I had three
miscarriages. Those months for me where awful, I was torn apart each
time I heard about a friend getting pregnant, I cried many times and
even became jealous of family and friends having more babies then me.
I came to understand the feelings of those friends I had, that could
not get pregnant and had been trying for years longer then me. The
heart break that they felt and the many nights they must have cried
them selves to sleep, that longing desire to be a parent that is
never had never been filled. I remember very distinctively my last
miscarriage, Erica had woken both my husband and I up in the middle
of the night because she had thrown up, We went to clean it up and I
felt very uneasy all of a sudden, I felt as if my heart had sank. I
ran to the bathroom and had sadly realized what had happened. I tried
to keep it together, and push my feeling aside, as if there was
nothing was wrong and I was ok. I helped finish cleaning and put the
kids back to bed, but when I went back to bed, I fell apart and
cried. At the time husband put his hand on my shoulder, but I wanted
much more, I felt alone and broken, unable to do the one thing my
body was supposed to do. I couldn't take it any longer, I wanted the
pain, the desire and the longing for more to be gone. As I cried, I
prayed quietly to myself, asking God to take it all away. I didn't
want it any longer, I wanted to be free from the pain I was
constantly feeling. Of course it wasn’t instantly gone, as the days
and weeks went on I felt better and lighter in my sprit. The desire
to have more children was still in my heart, but the pain I would get
from seeing others announce their joy was gone. In July I decided to
go talk to my Dr and find out if there was anything causing me to not
get pregnant. We took a blood test and a urine sample so that they
could test for any possible factors. Two weeks later at my next check
up she told me, You are a very healthy young lady and all my tests
came back negative for any issues and for a woman in a monogamous
relationship I have no idea what is causing this inability to get
pregnant. So she recommended I go to a specialist. I would have to
drive over an hour one way to see a specialist, so we thought we
would wait till after our summer vacation to make any decisions.
Later that summer the kids, my Dad, and I drove home to spend a month
with family and friends, my husband would join us later. One day
while at church with my parents, I ended up talking to our pastor
about what we had been through and how I was feeling, we prayed
together and I went on my with my Sunday, not really think much of
it, as it had been a long journey and I guess my Faith wasn't so
strong to think that this one prayer was going to make much of a
difference. I went and picked my husband up at the airport for our
last week home, it had been three weeks since we had seen each other
so we spent some time together alone, and then got ready for our kids
birthday party the next day. September 18th we had family
pictures with both sides of our families. I had this kinda painful
crampy stomache ache that night, a trigger went off in my head and I
knew something special was going on in my body. My son had got sick
with a nasty bug that made him loose his voice, and by the end of the
week when we were getting ready to pack up to drive back home, the
bug had gotten to us all, I was the last one and the kids seemed to
already be on the mend. 48 hours later we were back home, all happy
but very tired. A week later I was still feeling off, stuffy, tired,
coughy, just not myself. Thought it was strange that I was still
feeling sick when everyone else had quickly gotten over what they
had. In my mind I was already thinking and hoping about what it could
be, but I didn't want to feel that pain again if I was just getting
my hopes up for something that wasn't real, so I kept my feelings to
myself. I still had another two weeks till I could even take a test
to find out. (I have long cycles) So each week that went by felt like
forever, just waiting to see if I would start my period, maybe have
another miscarriage or wait long enough to see a positive test
result. October 1st came around and though I was trying my
hardest to wait one more day My husband talked me into taking the
pregnancy test that night before bed, and well of course you know
what the results were! I was so thrilled to see that positive
pregnancy stick.
I
started the process of getting my Dr. apointments and finding an
OB/gyn. Since my PCM couldn't deliver my baby, at the time I decided
to find a physician who could. I went on the search for someone who
would let me labor and deliver the way I wanted, plus understood why
I was making some choices about shots, delayed cord cutting, skin to
skin contact, no pitocin, etc.. While looking for an OB I was also
looking into hiring a midwife, because I had a desire to have a home
birth. It was not easy figuring them out, and my insurance coverage.
After much frustration I found out my insurance would not pay for any
midwife that did home births here in Santa fe. So in October I
started seeing a highly recommended OB here in town that had the
reputation of being very natural and open to new medical information.
At that time I was only being seen once a month, but by January I
already knew this was not the right match for me. I felt like I was
being looked down upon, treated like a new mom, and the things I
asked to take place were 'unethical'. So I was on another journey to
find out what I should do. About three week later I found out our
insurance wasn't covering the OB I was seeing, so I canceled my next
apt. with the OB and held off until I new what to do. (Long story,
not needed for this story) Part 2 click here
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